MY AUTUMN

In life, like in nature change is constant.We are always changing,which is what makes this entire life thing exciting otherwise wouldnt it all just be a drag. Lets take a lesson in the four seasons of mother nature... so you can follow;


Winter: bad, gloomy
Summer: good, cloud nine
Sprimg: re-birth, another chance
Autumn: the middle ground


One thing about myself that I love/hate is that I KNOW BETTER. I preach but I hardly ever practice. Meaning that whatever pile of cow dung the world throws at me I KNOW that only I CAN turn it into diamonds. But lately I haven't and I suddenly understood why.


I recently learned a skill to identify whatever season in life I was going though and how to work through it, the best I know how. I just had to share...


You see in the period of 4 years I have successfully experienced all seasons, it started off with Spring in 2007 - I felt so alive, I grew emotionally in ways I never thought I could. Everything was exciting, I experienced everything as brand new "beginners mind", not sure if it was the weed or what.
Anyway 2008/9 I was in full Summer mode, everything was brighter and greener, I was on cloud nine and only going higher. Every aspect of my life was great, not sure if it was the awesome sex or what.
Then came 2010 (that matha fucker)...it rained, snowed, blew massive winds and brought the coldest nights ever. Winter really took me by the balls and turned me into its bitch. Nothing was going right, maybe it was the lack of weed and sex or something like that. 


It was February 2011 when I had an "Aha" moment with my life coach, I couldn't understand why I was feeling so emotional, empty and purposeless when I realised I was stuck in Autumn. A place I had never been before, I place I needed to be. You see Autumn is my middle ground when it comes to "important" moments in life that defined my overall behavior. Have you ever felt like you know exactly what to do and how to do it in order to be happy or to move into the next chapter of your life but you feel inadequate lazy and reluctant to do anything? Well thats what Autumn is to me...being depressed.


And because NOW I know better all I have to do is shed my leaves to make space for new FRESH ones;


- Falling of leaves: Get rid of my shitty habits, "bring me down" people and negative attitudes in my life,
- Harvest: Be open to anything and everything by having hope and not basing my present life on my past or future LIFE
- Learning: In Indian Mythology, Autumn is based on the "Goddess of Learning", as crappy as it has been, I have learned so much and plan on learning more and more. I'm going to read more, write more and talk more (for those that know me, yes its possible that I can talk more.


Time to practice what I preach or rather, smoke more weed and have more awesome sex.