Constructive Randomness Part 1

Look I have Beeeeeen wanting to get back into writing my thoughts down for quite a bit now. Not sure where this will take me but this is me doing instead of talking about writing again.  By the way I do make up/join words and can ramble to oblivion...

I call her monkey warrior princess because:

*Monkey: She is a child: monkey-see monkey-do , Ifu is playing 90% of the time she’s awake, and it’s a cute word when said right. Hahaha she’s my 2 year old daughter dude!

*Warrior: She is fearless – and even if she was a he, I hope to raise children that continue to be fearless, strong, brave, doers and disciplined.Just a pinch of Warrior tendencies nje.

*Princess: simply and stereotypically this means girl =princess and boy=prince, because she is mine and I consider myself “queenlike” , I live to serve her the best way I can, I love her hard and so forth.

Speaking of, I think some of the parents will relate: I was suffering from “mommy guilt”. Now this started from having to go back to work after maternity leave; that first day at crèche were Ifunanya cried like I was throwing her into a lions den; worrying if the people that look after her…actually look after her; getting sick over not spending enough time with her; the guilt of when I was indulging (Friday night drink with friends),  and making sure she doesn’t kill herself or turn out to be a shitty person. The list is endless! At some point I even felt guilty for her dad being in Australia and worried for her future daddy issues. But I have dealt with the guilt by changing what  I can to not feel so much guilt, make sense of time, what I do and people in my/her life and the roles they play and also accept that which I cannot change. This peace didn't get here overnight and I am sure it will be a "thing" in my life till I die. 

Let me not even get started on the “Mandela pressure.” This has to do with my hero/god complex. Like sa(er)ving the world, Being a life coach, feeding the ego, being part of the good, my sharing nature and all the being spoilty blessed life thus feeling the need to reciprocate awesomess.

I think I will get into  detail in Part 2, when I get into my intrusive persona/ mindfulness/ introspective/ and visions journey.

Here are some not so constructive random pictures.

Love. Live . Learn. Laugh. Let go